So.
Actually, I don't know what to say. Everything's so strange. I'm unsure of myself and edgy. From time to time the thoughts of 'I'm not going to make it' rush through my head. I know I want that but I'm not good enough. A. keeps telling me 'Don't be such coward. Hey, you'll have me and it'll be soooo exciting! Especially in the beginning.', but I just get even more frightened.
And. Those things with X. Yes, I'm completely jealous for everybody who has a lover. And it really annoys me that he's in a relationship too. But sometimes it seems that I'm jealous because I like him.
Most of the time I think that's simply impossible.Anyway, I don't even know if I can trust him. Looks like the backround is clear but there are little things which make me misdoubt. And also the old story which should be forgotten...
Well, he's coming back to the city soon and I'm pretty sure we'll make things clear by then.
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