Interstellar

Such a mess I live in. My feet still hurt. So does heart. I feel empty one moment and as I have the Stonehenge in my chest the other. I don't know where we, where I am going. He says that he needs me, but he left me in the middle of the street in the rain with aching legs and nowhere to go. His house was near as ever. Is that love? And I, I don't even know what I feel for him. I want to stroke his hair, cheeks, I want to feel him, touch him, smell him... Isn't that too much, as for a friend? Is that even real?  I do not know who he is anymore. Still I want to get drunk with him. So drunk that I would finally understand what is what. I don't (this word again) know how I would act like though. I think it's only my imagination doing stupid things but sometimes I really feel a spark of something between us, that we don't speak about or even care to notice. Or maybe I'm just seeing something surreal. And I still don't know (again, fuck) what to study. I can't decide because I have no ideas! And the term is approaching.
'So where are you going?'
'I don't know!'
'What are you planning to do?'
'I don't know!'
'Do you have that special someone?'
'I don't know!'
Why the fuck I'm here. Am I so naive? What are you going to do? Is that all? Am I a friend of yours? Who are we? Does WE exist? So many irrelevant questions. God, may your light fall down on me. I need someone to tell me the answers.